(no subject)

[marta_bee]

I'm down at my grandmum's house. Funeral is Tuesday. I wanted to come down to be around and so I didn't have to hit the road so early today. Being here, things are starting to sink in a bit more, which is hard. We were sitting in her sitting room, and theres the corner where the Christmas tree used to stand. Knowing we won't ever use it again sits heavily on me. Never mind we haven't done Christmas Eves there for years, and never mind that my childhood Christmases weren't always happy. But the finality is hard.

Real is good, though. I've mostly felt very fuzzy and depressed. I was kind of tapped out before. It's been a hard six months.

I can do this though. It does feel good to be strong, even to feel strong. All things told, it feels powerful.

Hope you're all doing well !